Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
