Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pants are for mortals
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
