I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
