I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
