your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
