I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
