I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
