I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
