So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
