apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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