waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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