Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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