who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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