Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
