I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
