I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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