Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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