but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
