if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
