My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
