Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize