So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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