i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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