Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize