i jhust puked up my retainher.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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