i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
