dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
God, I missed his penis.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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