so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
