she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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