okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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