Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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