He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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