The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
