CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
