We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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