I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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