It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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