toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
