At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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