i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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