I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize