you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
