I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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