I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
