remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
