it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize