Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Found the puke drawer
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
