guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
