2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
As shirtless as possible
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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