I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
