It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I forget how to act sober
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