Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
