Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
