I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
