Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
