You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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