When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
