Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
