Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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