i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize