A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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