i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
