you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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