plz talk dirty to me
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
